Since becoming a Mum, I am much more confident in every day life. I don’t feel the pressure of having to please everyone and I am more focused on what I need to do for my family. I have a sense of freedom even though technically I am less free, I am finally able to follow my own rules. It doesn’t matter what other people think, you just gotta do whatchu gotta do. No disrespect.

With this new found confidence I realised that actually I am a Gangster. Here are my reasons why.

Rollin’ on dubs

gangster hydrolics

I am always bumpin’ down the street with my decked out buggy blasting Gin and Juice. Not only is my buggy as expensive as a car, it is a smooooooth ride.

gangster buggy

Leave the room Noticed

gangster kayne

Just like Dr. Dre, blowin’ sh** up and throwin’ sh** up, I leave the room noticed. My baby is blowin’ up tears and throwin’ up milk and people check me out as I stroll out of Starbucks.

Boy is shouting

 

Destroy the evidence

gangster flush

When in public, I am so fast at destroying the evidence that nobody even knew somebody got dirty. Poo disaster averted and the police walk right on by.

 gangster nappy

 

It’s all about the Respect

gangster respect FINAL

A real O.G. is respected in the community. People move out of the way and smile at me when I walk through the streets. Don’t mess with The Mum. As Snoop Dogg puts it, “Internationally known, highly respected, unseen, but well heard.”

gangster mom respect

 

 

Tell it like it is

 Eminem

I don’t have time to put up with people that are talkin’ shit anymore. I keep it real.

gangster telling it

Addicted to Crack

gangster drug deal

I can’t do anything in the morning before I get my ‘crack’. Up all night working the hood, I can’t function without it.

 gangster mom ordering coffee

Sippin’ 40s All Day

gangster sippin 40s

I drink wine all day e’rey day (..well at 8pm on the dot every night).

gangster mom drink

Carry Weapons

gangster with gun

I am always strapped with pepper spray and a pocket knife. If somebody tries to steal my baby, my crew will be on them like flies on rice.

gangster mom with pepper spray

Rollin’ Deep with my Crew

gangster with crew

When I enter a restaurant with my crew, the manager has to reorganise all of the furniture to make room for us. They be trippin’ if they think we’d leave our prams outside.

gangster moms with crew

Every Day I’m Hustlin’

gangster hustle

 I flirt with the dude at Costa to get my crack faster. And it takes me over 20 minutes to get out of my house, I’m hustlin’ to e’reythang.

gangster flirt

My Dance Skills are On Fleek

gangster dougie

My only exercise is when I entertain the baby by dancing to Gangster rap. Teach me how to dougie, teach me, teach me, how to dougie.

LATE NIGHT WITH JIMMY FALLON -- Episode 789 -- Pictured: (l-r) Jimmy Fallon, First Lady Michelle Obama -- (Photo by: Lloyd Bishop/NBC)

And so it goes, another day, another diaper. AND I’M OUT. 

gangster IM OUT

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77 thoughts on “11 Reasons Why Mums are Gangster”

  1. this is so funny – I’ve tears streaming! You are one funny momma and I love it! You are not a gangster you are The Gangster! Brilliant #coolmumclub nd OMG you are definitely a #coolmumclub member!!

  2. I LOVE YOU. I don’t know what else to say to this post other than that I want to be your best friend IRL. We can play beer pong and be gangsta mummas. I like to sing Notorious BIG’s ‘Juicy’ and ‘Big Poppa’ to my son, I think he recognises them from the womb. #StayClassy

  3. I feel like I’m a pretty gangsta mum too, but in a 90s kind of way. The Popple listened to a lot of 90s rap when she was younger – her favourite song was ‘U Can’t Touch This.’ When she would get hysterical, I’d put it on and she’d get quiet. My my my my. It was like magic. #StayClassy

  4. hahaha CANT TOUCH THIS da nanana NA NA danananaaa CANT TOUCH THIS. LOVE that song. When Bear was in my belly I played him the new Dr. Dre album, and when I played it for him after he was born I swear he had this look on his face like, “hmmmmm where have I hear this?” lol

  5. YES. I sing ‘Big Poppa’ too, mostly when he’s on the changing table and then ‘wave my hands in the air if yous a true playa,” I swear my son is going to be a rapper. I played the Dr. Dre album to him when he was in my belly, then after he was born I played it for him and I swear he had this look on his face like, “hmmmmm I have heard this before.”!

  6. ALSO lets be friends! We can make up a dance to Big Poppa and perform it to our babies hahaha

  7. Oh my goodness, this is brilliant!!!!! I love you, you are my sista from anotha mista! Fancy relocating to my street (the house next door is for sale?!) so we can be the kingpin gangsta mummas of my totally uptight hood?!!
    #stayclassy

  8. Ha ha – wicked bad mofo.
    Thanks for linking up down at ma’ #coolmumclub crib

    Or something like that 😐

  9. This is hilarious couldn’t stop laughing very clever post thanks for hosting#stayclassy

  10. This is absolutely HILARIOUS!! I was laughing so hard. Moms have to have a little fun, huh? I’d love to be a part of your crew <3 #StayClassy

  11. The pic of the gang of prams makes me sing “ridin'” in my head. Or maybe a little out loud.
    I love this post! If you need any Mum and Baby-G’s North West side…Call the crib- same number same hood!
    #fortheloveofBLOG

  12. Love it Meaghan! I was reading this nodding along especially to the “rollin, deep with my crew” this happens to us all the time now especially as need about 6 highchairs, as well as space for 6 adults and 6 buggies! Oh and wine, love it, after a stressful day it is all I need, there is always an emergency bottle in the fridge for later. Thank you so much for joining our party at #fortheloveofBLOG, we hope you come back next week. Claire x

  13. You absolutely crack me up!!! This post is brilliant. I think you have nailed why Mamas are like pimpin homies! 😀 Word! Thanks for linking up and making me laugh again! #bigpinklink

  14. Ha ha – this cheered me up on a rainy Wed afternoon – can v much relate to the restaurant thing having a double buggy and needing 2 highchairs for each twin and also the need for wine!!!! #TheBabyFormula

  15. I’m impressed, I ought to say. Seriously rarely do I encounter a weblog that’s each educative and entertaining, and let me let you know, you may have hit the nail on the head. Your thought is outstanding; the concern is one thing that not enough folks are speaking intelligently about. I am quite pleased that I stumbled across this in my search for some thing relating to this.

  16. Ditto to everything above this was hysterical! This line is totally me on my way into work (there is a Costa opposite the shop) “I flirt with the dude at Costa to get my crack faster.” loved it! #fortheloveofBLOG

  17. Hahah exactly. I’m not even joking either. I called coffee “food” the other day by accident. But you know, it IS food for me! lol

  18. I know right?! We had to move four tables together and park five buggies around them, so funny!

  19. OMG 6 buggies! I tried to park up 4 buggies with 4 adults in a restaurant which took FOREVER, can’t imagine how that went down! haha

  20. hahah my son does NOT like sleeping, it takes me until 8 to finally get him down! I’m hoping this will change when he’s older?! AAHHH ; )

  21. Ha this is one of the best posts I have ever read! Love it and went to share no Twitter. It made me laugh even after a night of no sleep and not enough coffee 🙂 #Passthesauce

  22. You’ve made me realise that coffee is ‘so’ my crack! Very funny from start to finish, I’m not even gunna try and say something gangsta cool because you already nailed it! #chucklemums

  23. Hahaha! Brilliant 😀 I’m glad I read this on my own cause I could laugh as much as I wanted! lol

    Thanks for linking up to #thebabyformula and sorry for the delay in commening while I’ve been on a break, hope you can link this week x

  24. Oh I am laughing and crying. So funny. I am with you on the buggy front, I was always out cruising with that bad boy, whilst mouthing to everyone- check out my wheels! Also look a cup holder for my wine – genius! 😉

  25. Yea I was confused when another Mom was like, “no the cup holder is for cooffeeeee” ; )

    I really want to make a parody of “Move, Bi*** get out the way, get out the way bi***” with all my Mom friends rolling down the street with our prams hahaha

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