It’s been eight months since THE BIRTH and I have gone to three spinning classes and I have done one run (aka jogging at a leisurely pace). I literally have one hour a day where I could either GYM IT or do other things like….blog, catch up on social media, whatsapp my friends, take a poo, finish work, watch Friends, take Instagram photos, have sex. My day quite literally looks like this:

6am Wake the f**k up

7:30am Get into Work

7:30am – 9am Do Actual Work

9am – 12pm Back to Back Meetings

12pm – 12.10pm Eat Some Salad

12:10pm – 2pm Do Actual Work

2pm – 5pm More Damn Meetings

5pm Pick Up Child From Nursery

5pm – 8pm Deal with Child Needs (play, feeding baby food, giving bath, changing nappies, trying to get him to sleep),

8pm – 9pm Do Work for Postgraduate Degree,

9pm – 10pm THE ONE HOUR OF PURE BLISS

10pm Settle Down and Get Ready for Bed (blog)…. or else I will die the next day,

SO, level with me for a second, when do I actually have time to go to the gym? It’s not even that I don’t want to go. I used to run at least once a week every week for three years B.C. before child. I would LOVE to have that time back, but I just don’t. 

Due to my lack of GYMING IT, I thought it would be best to use me for what NOT to do when trying to lose baby belly fat. 

Read an article about breastfeeding that says you burn 500 calories per feed. Use this as your excuse to keep eating as much as you ate during pregnancy.

Do a yoga YouTube video after work and follow it with a bowl of mint chip ice cream.

Listen to Disciples “They Don’t Know” and dance around while carrying the baby and count this as your work out for the month.

Blame your boyfriend for not wanting to run with you as THE reason you are not exercising. 

Plan to go to a pilates class on Saturday morning. Book this time in with your boyfriend so he’ll watch the baby. Go out on Friday night and have too many drinks. Sleep in on Saturday morning and blame the fact that you haven’t slept the whole week because the baby still doesn’t sleep through the night….instead of, you know, the seven glasses of wine you had the night before.

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Realise that you MUST Pinterest all of your favourite photos of living room decor or you will fail as a professional blogger at the very moment your boyfriend finally decides to join you for a run.

Feel like you are fit because you take the stairs occasionally instead of the lift.

Eat sorbet with fudge.

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Tell yourself that coffee makes you eat less, but have a breakfast, lunch, after lunch snack, dinner and dessert every day during the week and a FULL breakfast plus the rest on the weekends.

Wear your freshly cleaned gym clothes to bed and pretend you are going to get up early for a run.

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Actually go to the gym. Then go for three large pints after with coworkers.

Get the stomach flu and feel like you’ve lost ten pounds so you eat a shit load of donuts to make up for it.

Realise that today is your fancy dinner date with your boyfriend and do 10 sit-ups. 

Drink Gin and Tonic because apparently it has less calories than a beer.

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32 thoughts on “How I have NOT Lost Any Baby Belly Fat”

  1. Oh my goodness you’re just ace!! Love this!! Maybe get a running buggy I’ve found this saves a lot of time…running whilst spending time with Bubs, outside fresh air and gets her to sleep!!! X

  2. Tick, tick, tick! Oh it is shit being a woman!
    I’ve not bought any food to work on purpose today, I’m trying to convince myself I’m not hungry, it’s not going well!
    Oh well, I guess we can’t have it all, rather be podgy than boring?! (Oh wait, I’m both!) #stayclassymama

  3. Hehe so funny! I am the worst for doing exercise and then eating rubbish straight after it. I used to go swimming but I would just crave a MacDonalds or KFC as soon as I got out of the pool. I decided it was actually making me less fit than just not swimming and eating normal food! #stayclassymama

  4. You are my hero. Your daily scheduling made me laugh – 6am wake the f**k up HAHA! Yep no gyming here either and have no idea how I would fit that in, mainly because I need an hour before the gyming hour to psych myself up for it. 2 hour window, not a chance! Just top up that G+T, they are slimming for sure. #stayclassymama

  5. I feel that I only have enough time in my life for 3 things. So out of full-time work, parenting, blogging and exercise, one will be dropped at any given time. Considering that the work pays for everything and the parenting NEVER goes away. it’s usually either the blogging or the exercise, or as recently discovered, both, that suffer. Subsequently, I’m still carrying quitting smoking and baby weight and think that my parents are my blog’s only fans! Good on you for trying this early though, at 8 months BC I was still walking around muttering ‘WTF just happened?’ under my breath! #stayclassymama

  6. I’m with you on the gym thing – as a working mum, I’m supposed to go to the gym when, exactly? I used to go 5 times a week – now I aim for one hour every other Sunday, where I go on the elliptical and watch 90s music videos for an hour. Otherwise, I spend my free time (hahaha) blogging and drinking Prosecco. #stayclassymama

  7. I love this and you! I also still have a big belly, I am pretty sure my brother’s friend thought I was pregnant the other day. He tried to cover it but I think that’s what happened I just love cake and beer so much. I’ve done my pregnancy yoga dvd a few times in the last few weeks, I can’t handle normal person yoga yet. I really believed breastfeeding would help me lose weight but I think it’s just made me eat more cake. #StayClassyMama

  8. Oh YES this is me!! I ate so many cream cakes when I was breastfeeding. I had read that it helped with milk production-haha. I did not believe this at all but used it as an excuse to eat the local bakery! Also I am on the coffee on too-whoops! Life is too short for diets, I say enjoy it, gin and all! 🙂 #Stayclassymama

  9. You rae hysterical! You’ll get there when you really want to. Until then, the baba acts as weightlifting…so you are doing it! Go girl! #stayclassymama M’wah! <3 <3 <3

  10. The really sad thing is, if you’ve had three kids at a later age, you can still lose the weight but you have a weird wrinkly saggy skin tummy that’s totally gross so why bother, I say. Eat, exercise to feel better and just own it….

  11. Wow, wow and wow again. You get into work at 7.30?! I used to do that before children… now it’s more like a 9am start because of breakfast and drop-off hell. If the only time to exercise is 9-10pm YET YOU EAT SALAD FOR LUNCH AND WORK YOUR ARSE OFF I wouldn’t worry. It will drop off soon enough – and if it doesn’t, no-one will care as you are obviously Superwoman already 🙂 #stayclassymama

  12. I can relate to a lot of this. I have not exercised for almost two years now. But breastfeeding and carrying a baby counts, surely? My favourite is the three pints after the gym. Good on you. Cheers! #StayClassyMama

  13. Totally agree I think the exercise should be for the brain, to feel those happy endorphins, don’t really mind the body bit anymore. : )

  14. Hahahaha this is brilliant! I do, pretty much, all of these! Archie is 4 now, but I still blame my weight on the baby ha, even though I lost it & then put it back on – plus some!! My latest excuse is water retention… I don’t think I’m overweight, I’m just retaining water!! #StayClassyMama

  15. haha you’re brilliant! You’ll hate me I actually weighed less after giving birth all 3 times, I ate so healthy during pregnancy that I actually lost weight after giving birth. But since my baby boy now 6 has started school I have put on weight AHHHHHHH no one to run after, thinking I need an active dog lol #stayclassymama

  16. Ah that’s amazing! I couldn’t handle being healthy anymore at the end of pregnancy, it was starting to get to me! Haha

  17. I feel the same way I have no idea when I’m supposed to actually get exercise. I just try to walk more. I’m also really good at find excuses not to exercise lol. My baby is 2 and I still have a good 15 lbs that won’t go away but oh well. #stayclassymama

  18. Love it. Especially “more damn meetings”!

    The closest I get to regular exercise is the walk to and from home. It’s about 2km. The shameful thing is I only know this through the egg counter on Pokemon Go…

    #StayClassyMama

  19. Haha love this…life literally just laughs at our belly fat with all of these obstacles in the way doesn’t it? Maybe we will get there one day…like when our kids are teens! Thanks for telling it like it it as always on #coolmumclub chick! X

  20. This kind of sounds like the excuses that I make ALL OF THE TIME. I really need to do something about that. I know I do, but that thought is usually followed by the reasoning that Ill start tomorrow, which of course never comes LOL. Emily #coolmumclub

  21. Cheers to the Gin! You’re hilarious Megan, I reckon you can laugh yourself thin (but you probably look bloody gorgeous JUST as you are )
    Thanks for linking to #coolmumclub!

  22. Society is the one judging us for that baby fat. I still have a bit of belly and to be honest I don’t have the time nor the mood to lose it. I blame it on the weather, my fiancee being at work all the time and not giving me free time to exercise, my baby being needy and so on. I’ll lose when I feel like losing it
    Loved your post. Amazing one

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