I am LITERALLY sick and tired.

Like many of us parents say, I did not know what tired actually meant until I had the baby. It is never-ending. I still haven’t had a full nights sleep since the baby was born 4 months ago, and it is not looking like I will for a very long time. On top of this, I am sick.

To add another layer onto this horribly FAT cake, I have exams in the next two weeks for my postgraduate degree. Any free time available is spent studying or writing my paper. I switch back and forth all day long; baby, study, baby, write, baby, blog, baby, study, there are no breaks. Again literally, THERE ARE NO BREAKS.

superman polar bear

But even though I know I am doing a good job, I still put myself down and say I am not doing well enough, I should be doing more as a Mom, at school and at work.

I think a lot of parents tend to do this; put themselves down even though they are doing 5,000 amazing things all at once.

So while studying for my degree and reading a book called Lean In by Sheryl Sandberg (well…trying to read….I’m still only about 47 pages in), I have come across some highly relevant studies.

While they are disappointing, it is also very true, people have been found to rate their performance or success as worse than it actually is. For instance, a woman will become CEO of a company and attribute her success to “luck” or “having help from others”, rather than her skills and intelligence.

Even worse, when people fail at something, they are more likely to attribute it to their skills, rather than blaming it on other factors (side note: it was found that woman tend to do this more than men).

“The internalisation of failure and the insecurity it breeds hurt future performance, so this pattern has serious long-term consequences.”

WHY do we do this to ourselves? Surely, we should be giving ourselves the credit we deserve.

superman award

But we don’t, and especially parents. The guilt monster takes over and we put ourselves down even when evidence proves that we are doing a fantastic job.

I really want to put PARENT on my CV (future post coming up) because this is the fucking hardest job I have ever done. My job back in the corporate world is like being on a luxurious boat whilst being fed grapes and champagne. 

So PARENTS, let’s stop blaming ourselves for everything that goes wrong and start attributing our successes to our intelligence and skills.

In protest of these findings, can everyone RAISE A HAND.

superman raise a hand

For all the parents out there doing what seems to be everyday normal occurrences but are actually HUGE ACCOMPLISHMENTS. 

Raise your hand for not having a proper night sleep in 3 years but still being a fully functioning human being.

Raise your hand for bringing a toddler to the supermarket.

Raise your hand for being able to take a long bath.

Raise your hand for being up every two hours during the night feeding the baby.

Raise your hand for not feeling guilty…

….about working late

….about wanting time off for yourself

…about wanting to have both a career and a family

…about texting while breastfeeding

…about not listening to your Mother’s advice

…about letting your kids watch TV to have a 5 minute break

Raise your hand for having a little more ‘me time’.

Raise your hand for getting the intimacy back in the relationship.

Raise your hand for cooking a homemade meal every blue moon.

Raise your hand for getting the baby to sleep without rocking, swaddling, singing, swaying, bouncing.

Raise your hand for resolving a conflict, like adults, with your fourteen year old daughter.

Raise your hand for getting yourself and the kids ready in the morning and being on time to drop them off at school.

Raise your hand for listening to your gut instinct rather than those damn child development books.

Raise your hand for all of the little quarrels between child and parent that happen every single day, no matter what age they are.

Raise your hand for just being a parent.

And finally, when you are feeling guilty, insecure and you just can’t take it anymore, STAND LIKE SUPERMAN (it is proven to reduce stress levels).

A study found that when people stand in a high-power pose, puffing their chest out and making their arms wide, spreading their limbs, for just two minutes, their dominance hormone levels (testosterone) increased and their stress hormone levels (cortisol) decreased.

Superman

 

Mummuddlingthrough
ethannevelyn
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71 thoughts on “Raise Your Hand and Stand Like Superman”

  1. Reblogged this on One Messy Mama and commented:
    For every mom just “doing” your daily routine.. Stand up like Superman.. You are a hero in those little ones eyes.. And it reduces stress.. Apparently… Guess what’s on my agenda tonight 🙂

  2. Oh, WOW I love this. It’s 4.40am and I’ve just finished a night feed and my other boob is leaking so I can’t sleep and won’t now until I go to bed tonight. (This is not unusual). During the day, I will sling NC for approx. 8hrs as he’s teething and can’t bear to be parted from me (NOT sweet, just plain f*cking irritating at the mo), make 254 beakers of warm milk for NG, and change 621 nappies. But I will still feel bad for not doing as much writing as I’d like. YOU’RE SO RIGHT! I am going to stand like Superman today … even if I have NC hanging off me like a little Koala. I’m sure Superman likes animals (if not babies). #StayClassy

  3. Love this! It has made me feel much better this morning. I’m always blaming myself for everything and feeling guilty about pretty much anything I do! (The breastfeeding while texting comment made me giggle – it’s the only time I get to catch up on everything!) X

  4. Are you superwoman? Right, let me get this straight, you had a baby a mere 4 months ago and you are taking exams in a matter of a fortnight. I doth my cap to you girl, you’re amazing. I wrote a blog post about mum guilt which I’m publishing today, it’s a total futile emotion. Something we need to remember is this, we are human. Yes we are Mum or Dad, we parent. But we are human too and have lives to lead. If our children are happy and loved then that is all that matters. You’re amazing #stayclassy

  5. O I love this!!! I am going to try this pose and see what happens!! I am so often feeling guilty and putting myself down, but today you have inspired me to say my kids are awesome so I am doing a great job! Great post #stayclassy

  6. I’m doing that RIGHT NOW. I’ll let you know how it goes.
    I really liked this post. I’m not a fan of the whole ‘mums, you are doing great blah blah’ platitudes in general (some of us are, some of us aren’t haha) but this has SCIENCE and REFERENCES – Something I can get behind!

  7. This is a really really great post. I’m raising my hand! I expect I’ll be doing the superman pose a lot seeing as I am constantly stressed. I have a four year old with additional needs and a two year old and together they are really hard work. I never imagined for one minute just how hard two would be and I definately get to raise my hand!

    Thanks for hosting #stayclassy 🙂

  8. Just made myself look like a numpty pants, but my hands were in the air like I don’t care. Great post – with actual proof and stuff 🙂

  9. This is a brilliant post! I think our battle with expectations, guilt, and information overload is what does this to us and yes! we should all be standing like superman amen sista! Thanks for linking up to #coolmumclub chicky xx

  10. oh I LOVE this post!!! It is so true, so VERY true! When ever I was promoted I put it down to luck. We need to stop putting ourselves down! Whoop I am waving my hands in the air like Mrs Tubbs too 🙂 I am off to share this right now! #stayclassy

  11. ha ha – i can just imagine all the superman poses going on in houses around the world today – just love it! deep breaths and it will soon be over and another phase will start – thank goodness wine is the constant – though for anyone who drinks prosecco I could cry for you – it’s running out! such a brilliant funny read – I love your posts! Oh and how cool is that film Sisters? – I literally cried watching that! #stayclassy ps first time on your link – love the feel of it!

  12. I love this!! I will be standing like superman later. Sorry you’re feeling rubbish, hope you get well soon. One of the things I get so cross about is the view that women going back to work after maternity leave or, shock horror, an extended period of time at home with children, have less to offer. In the last two years I have gained more skills and resilience, efficiency etc than I did in over ten years of work. Fabby post #stayclassy

  13. Yep, this is amazing. I have just done a little superwoman pose to the baby’s delight. I am always telling my friends (and it does seem to be the female ones who feel the guilts more) that they are AMAZING and deserve fecking medals for all the things they do. As do you – you’re rocking this blogging lark, studying, parenting and being a beer pong pro. You’re my hero. Hope you feel better soon, being ill with a baby is the worst!! Thanks for hosting #StayClassy

  14. You must have super powers! Good luck with the studying. Thank you speaking up – the Superman pose has already helped my back pain. Thanks for letting me gatecrash. #StayClassy

  15. I’m SO guilty of putting myself down as a parent. This job is f***ing hard and I’m not always sure that I’m good at it, but I’m going to try to push the mummy guilt aside and focus on the things I’ve managed to accomplish today, like getting my daughter to eat fish pie and not chew the laptop power cord. #StayClassy

  16. Love. It. I’ve read Lean In (got a copy floating around somewhere) and it’s always good to be reminded every now and again that we do blame ourselves for not being good enough when we fail, but attribute it to luck when things go well. Let’s do the Superman (Superwoman?) pose and give ourselves a good old pat on the back! #StayClassy

  17. I agree parent should be a job you can put on your CV. Even though I’ve just become a mum, people have asked me what I’m going to do all day now baby is here….they don’t seem to realise that a child cannot fend for themselves and essentially you are their 24 hour care-giver. Not that I would change it for the world! How you have time to study and look after a baby…amazing!! Hope your exams go well! #stayclassy

  18. Nope nobody realises until they are actually a parent, I’ll admit I had no idea!!! I had dreams of mat leave being more like a little holiday with my son, snuggling and playing and smiling but it is so MUCH harder than I thought! I wouldn’t change it for the world either but just a bit of a shock haha!

  19. I did debate writing this just for the Mums because most of the studies were about woman but I thought it wouldn’t be fair as I know Dads do just as much (albeit the studies show there are still more stay at home Moms and working Moms and single Moms). Anyway, thanks so much for co-hosting with me!!

  20. That IS an accomplishment! We run around all day doing these little things for our kids and don’t congratulate ourselves enough, and actually quite then opposite, put ourselves down for not doing enough. So let’s stop doing that! It’s time haha

  21. Agreed! I was going to write a little bit about that but I’m saving it for another post. ; ) I have learned so much more in the short time being a mother than I have learned in the many years in my career. It is SO much harder and nobody gets any credit for it. I hope upon my return from mat leave I do not encounter any of this kind of discrimination. Thanks for linking up!!

  22. Haha I hope so! Is prosecco really running out??!!! That is my favourite drink right now, literally it’s the only thing I order when I’m out (besides the occasional jäger bomb or shot of tequila).

    I haven’t seen Sisters yet but I love love love the gif and the film looks really funny!! I have to go ASAP, can I breastfeed in the movie theatre??? : )

  23. Thanks so much for sharing! I’m the same way, when I was promoted I didn’t think it was because of anything that I did, I though it was because I was just at the right place at the right time! Bull shit. Lol

  24. That is definitely one to raise my hand for! Doing it now!! I can’t imagine having two, it may be the end of me. ; ) but then again I’m sure once the first one is a toddler I’ll be missing the newborn stage again, damn motherly hormones!

  25. Hahah good, I though the proof might help my case. I didn’t really want to come off as such a cheerleader type but it happened lol (I debated not posting this and going with something about not sleeping haha)!

  26. I’m regretting my decision a bit now but it’s almost over so I just have to get over this last hurtle and I’ll be freeeeeeee (actually I’ll be going back to work full-time, DAMN IT). Anyway, look forward to reading now the post about Mom guilt : ) so true, if they are loved then nothing else matters! Thanks for linking up again lovely!

  27. Oh god this sounds like my night last night, feeding at 1, 3.30,5,6:30 etc he is definitely going through something because he has reverted back to newborn feeding hours!!! And OH the DAMN sling!! I know it’s not cute, I feel for ya! You are definitely Superwoman carrying around a baby all day long and doing 2,000 other things at the same time. : )

  28. That’s harder. It may be a matter of accepting that tiredness will make bad decisions or reactions more likely and adjusting accordingly be that an apology or double checking!

  29. I feel totally empowered now! Tonight as my son kicks off at the doctors surgery I might stand in the waiting room strike the superman pose and list off the amazing achievements I have made today (such as keeping too small children alive and tackling washing mountain!) #stayclassy

  30. Well, I raised my hand throughout this article. I think I’ll be doing a lot of standing like superman from now on! As mothers we should definitely give ourselves more credit for juggling so much and having so little time to focus just on ourselves and our own needs. #StayClassy

  31. I LOVE this!! I often say (albeit in my own head) that I am superwoman, that I deserve a medal just for making it through each day with four children, three of which are super whiny, super annoying and super screamy!! Us Mummys are amazing, I love this post and everything it stands for, high five fellow super heroes!! #stayclassy

  32. Yay, you say it girl. We are all fighting our own little battles, and doing it whilst being a mum too is hardcore. Well done you on the studies when you have a new born too. Best of luck with the exams. You’re so right we should berate ourselves a whole lot less!

  33. Wow, you are incredible. Blogging, studying, looking after a baby and trying to read a book. Hats off to you! Stop being so hard on yourself. Oh, and on Sheryl Sandberg, Lean In is a good book, but she has also done a great TED talk. Type in TED talks into google and then her name in the search bar. Her talk is about 15 minutes long and is basically the key points from her book without the amusing anecdotes. Enjoy. Pen x #FabFridayPost

  34. Haha – I think we all are. I don’t feel like Superwoman today; I feel WRECKED! But lovely of you to say so 🙂

  35. I’m absolutely amazed that you even have the time or energy to write this blog post, but I’m glad you did as it is truly inspiring. Good luck with your exams, and the new Superman pose. #bigpinklink

  36. My kid are going to wonder why I stand in the corner in that pose all the time now! 😉 You’re so right, we don’t credit ourselves with being awesome. I think the internet and pinterest are a lot to blame. There is always someone doing it better, healthier, funner then us and we feel we need to live up to that. I think the majority of us are just winging it though. We’re all in the same boat, weighed down, leaning slightly too far over and in danger of taking on water at any moment. Good luck with your exams hun. Hope you ace them! Thanks for linking. #bigpinklink

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