Sometimes I wish we were village people. Eat. Sleep. Play. Repeat. It’s so much more simple. We wouldn’t be judged for breastfeeding. We wouldn’t have to have a schedule. We wouldn’t have to worry about money. Mostly just food and babies.
Life in this day and age is hard. The people are difficult. The relationships are difficult. The jobs are difficult. The children are difficult. There is no time and we have no breaks. We literally do not even have time to think. What is right and wrong is not clear and there is never an easy answer for anything.
I’ve done a bit of research and I’ve found the reasons why we are so f**cking stressed out, here are my thoughts…
No joke I am currently paying more for nursery than my rent. How am I affording this? I don’t know because B.C. (before child) I never had any money left at the end of the month. I have changed jobs, moved up A BIT yet B.C. I could have been saving ridiculous amounts of money for my future child (…or a BOAT!) but for some reason I spent it at the pub. Now I’m stuck paying for nursery and can only save if we are very strict about our weekly activities. Might I add that the cost of living has almost doubled in the last 20 years. Apparently a house in 1994 cost £144,000, now it costs £232,141!
I Can Have It All
With generations of women before us fighting for our right to work, right to vote, right to HAVE. IT. ALL. We believe that we actually can have it all. But the reality is dim.
According to one survey, 1 in 4 working moms cry once a week due to the stress of “having it all.”
If I’m not sacrificing my work ethic, I am sacrificing the time I have with my child, and even more so sacrificing a beautiful relationship with my very lovely boyfriend. There is a balance sometimes but most of the time it’s one or the other. Going out on a Friday night and having too many drinks is not only sacrificing my body, my Saturday morning/afternoon, but also sacrificing the time I have with Bear which makes me feel like THE WORST person in the world. So goodbye nights out too!
The Judgy Mum
What is wrong with you? Why do you prey on other mums like yourself just trying to have a good life? The expectation to be a perfect mum is already forced upon us through the media DAILY, our own parents, and our own thoughts, we don’t need another mum making us feel even worse. Shut the f**k up and go back to your four bedroom house surrounded by a white picket fence.
Too Many Choices
Prams, toys, bottles, teats for the bottles, high chairs, teething gel, milk, baby wipes, nappies, changing tables, cots, baby safe protection, kids books, tv shows, the list goes on and on and on and on. If I moved here from a foreign country where they live in the forest and build their own homes they would laugh in my face at the amount of products we have created for our children. It’s just not necessary and causes a WHOLE LOT of stress for no reason except for money.
We Live for Longer but Have Less Time for Ourselves
Mobile phones, TV, laptops, social networking, careers. Need I say more?
Mothers are Judge Differently Than Fathers
True story. My boyfriend took my son out in the pram when he was two months old and he was praised for ‘getting out of the house and bonding with his son’. I on the other hand never received any praise for anything and was shamed for taking up too much space on a bus because the pram ‘is like a starship out of star wars”.
Apparently we are supposed to breastfeed until one year old, however we are not supposed to go in public whilst breastfeeding. We are supposed to let a baby express themselves, but only in your own home god forbid you let them do this in public. We are supposed to feed them homemade food, but there are thousands of brands available that have created baby food you can buy off the shelf for less than one pound.
The Idea that Motherhood is Fulfilling
We are supposed to appreciate every single moment with our child. Embrace the precious smell and soft skin of our baby because it goes so fast! How am I supposed to love every single moment with my child when sometimes he annoys the crap out of me? He screams, he cries, he shits himself, he doesn’t sleep EVER. This is not always fulfilling and I shouldn’t be made to feel that it should be.
So there you have it, we are stressed out because of the obscene standards created by society (and other judgy mums) to be a mum.