Dear Jukes,

Remember the days before Bear?

Where we would drink loads and loads of gin n tonic and dance until 7am, wander home while the sun was coming up and the birds started chirping. I fucking hated those birds. They were a reminder that my liver was slowly shrivelling up and I should be doing yoga, but instead I was going to sleep and wake up with a swollen head, literally. But wasn’t it so much fun Jukes?!  

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Now my wrinkly old face is, well, wrinkly and old. My blue eyes have gone Titanic blue, it’s like they know I have made it past 60 and I am ready to sink into the big deep blue. 

Your face is wrinkly too, don’t worry I still think your cute. On your good days(**shocker alert**) I even find you sexy. 

When your even bluer eyes meet mine I can see the young spirit inside you, the one that used to lift Bear in the sky and circle him around the living room. He would laugh and laugh and LAUGH. Damn you could make that boy laugh.


Now he is 30 something and has his own family. It’s just us now Jukes. We can do anything we want,

  • Party until 7am again
  • Hot tub all day
  • Slip n slide down into a pool full of jelly

Ain’t that the life. 

I never thought I would be able to spend so much time with you. Back then our time felt so limited. There was so much pressure to do things quickly. We were always in a rush. Why didn’t we realise that we would have plenty of time to get things done? I mean look at us now, chillin’ in the garden, drinking Prosecco and doing absolutely nothing. 

Look at Bear. He is a ADULT now. Can you believe it? He doesn’t need his nappy changed, he sleeps through the night (sometimes), he can put his own underwear on, I mean for christ sake’s he has a WIFE now. 

Do you think we rushed through life too much? If I could go back in time I would…..


Why was I so worried about my weight? Nobody gives a shit. I was married, I had a baby, I had a job. I could do whatever I wanted, and when I did eat chocolate I didn’t gain loads and loads of weight, I was fiiiiiiine. I was thin. I’m sorry but I am chub now, I should have realised that it didn’t matter so much. 


I should have stopped helicopter parenting. Number 1, because this would have gave me more time to BE ME. Number 2, the kids learn more when they are on their own, they didn’t need an adult to constantly tell them when and how to play. Jesus. We have to tell Bear to chill out with his kids or else this is just going to get worse. 


C’mon! What were we thinking? Yea, yea we were tired, no sleep, babies crying everywhere, working late nights. But sex is the best. How did we miss this? I’m glad we are making up for it now, but it would’ve been nice to be in our sexy young bodies. ; )


Okay this is hard to say but let’s face it, a job’s a job. Even though I became a very successful CEO, does it really matter when I die? I’m really thinking about this now, we only have a few years left in us. What is the point? IS there even a point? As the Black Eyed Peas would say, Where is the love? Family is more important than a job. I should have put more priority on Family. 


To be fair, we travelled quite a lot but maybe we should have followed through with our plan to move to Bali for six months, or live in a van for a year. We could’ve done it. Wait, we can still do it now, shall we? 

Love you snugs.


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